Acne is Ugly

Starring... Emily and her sign language Rochelle and her bob Tom and his large 'penis' Lauren and her shoulder acne Lisa and her new trainers/sex positions Andy and his sweets And Me and my camera

Author: HollyStimson
Keywords: holly stimson college fun sign language trainers penis acne
Added: June 27, 2008

Take A Breath ep.4 PART 2!

Part 2! *where we left off* Nick: *looking around panicking* Selena?!!!! Miley: *starts to cry* Oh, My, God! *Nick runs over and hugs Miley* Joe: *hugging Demi* Wait, so, your cursed? Demi: That's what he said. Kevin: Who's he? Joe: *let's go of Demi and starts walking towards the door* He's the guy I'm gonna kill when we get out of here. Taylor: *runs over to comfort Demi* It's okay. What's the curse. I'm sure it's nothing big. What, are you gonna have acne or something? Demi: Oh, yeah, sure. Nothing big. I'm just, never gonna have somebody who romantically loves me. Joe: *looks at Demi* Demi. *walks over to her* Demi: I'm fine. Don't worry. I'm good. *starts to cry harder* Joe: *grabs her hands* I love you. *everybody in the room looks at him thinking what did he say. Demi looks up at him* Joe: *whiping tears of her face* More than anything. Miley: NO! Your supposed to love me! Joe: Not now Miley. *looks back into Demi's eyes* The curse is WAY to late. Demi: Promise? Joe: I promise. Nick: Are you gonna kiss her, or, just stay there. We got thing's to figure out. *Joe kisses Demi* Kevin: Okay, how do we get out of here? Joe: We can't. Emily: This sucks! *crying harder on Kevin's shoulder* Kevin: *Comforting Emily* I know. Alyson: Some dance. I saw this in a scary movie. WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! Everybody but Selena and Alyson: Alyson! *With Selena and ???* ???: Your name? Selena: Um, Selena. ???: Selena. Right, Selena. Your a friend of Demi's? Selena: No way. We hate eachother. ???: Oh, that's a shame. You might be her only hope. Selena: Huh? ???: She has a hidin talent. Find out what it is. Selena: Why can't you just tell me. Wait, no, what good will it do to find out her hidin secret, or, whatever. ???: Talent. And I can't tell you because that will screw everything up. If you find it out. You must get her to perform it. Selena: Okay. I'm still pretty confused. ???: She sings, ask her to sing infront of the school at the talent show next week. Selena: She's moving in 3 days, well, now it's more like 2 but you get the picture. ???: Bring her back. You can go. Selena: I'm gonna need you to open the door. ???: The door is open! Selena: Sorry. *runs back into the room with he rest of them* DEMI!!!! We need to talk! Demi: Stop yelling! Selena: *pulls her into the hallway* You can sing? Demi: WHat, of course not. Selena: I had a conversation with the wierd guy, he said you could sing. Demi: He also said, I wouldn't find love. Guess what? Selena: Okay, just sing at the talent show. Demi: I'm gonna be gone then. *realizing she's gonna be gone* Oh, my, God. I'm gonna be gone. *starts crying* Selena: Uh, Joe! *Joe runs out and see's Demi crying* Joe: *hugging Demi* What did you say? Selena: Actually she said it. Nick: WHOO!!!! The doors are open!!!! Sel, come on! Selena: Remember, and he also said I might be your only hope. *walks away* Joe: *lets go of her* What was that about? Demi: Nothing. Joe: come on, I'll take you home. *about 30 minutes later with Jemi at Demi's adoption house* Joe: *walking Demi to the door* So, are you gonna be okay? *Demi nodds but she's thinking, what the hell do you think* Joe: So, um, chances are, Nick's gonna be over at Selena's for the weekendand Kevin's gonna be checking in on Emily and Alyson every 30 minutes. Do you wanna stay with me. *Demi looks up at him* Joe: It's cool if you don't want to, i jus-. *see's Demi walking back to the car and getting in* Okay.

Author: loveJemi4ever
Keywords: Take Breath ep.4 PART 2!
Added: October 31, 2008

Sir Mike Tallon, PhD @ the Improv 1-9-08

Read the lyrics below if the sound is too ty. This is me performing jokes at the Ft. Lauderdale Improv. "(indecipherable, girly voice) You know, nowadays, everybody's calling themselves "Li'l Something". We've got Li'l Wayne, Li'l Scrappy, Li'l Kim... Li'l Flip, Li'l Jon... Li'l Romeo, Li'l Keke--it's getting ridiculous! It's gonna get the point to where we run out of names and some poor guy gets stuck with "Lit'l Dick"...singing about how hard he balls. I work in customer service and, uh, one time this blind guy called. I know he was blind cuz he wouldn't shut up about it, and he was such an asshole. So I decided to with him, right? And so I started to say--and this is 100% true, I lie to you not--I started to say, "Sir, sir! Can't you see why that's your balance? I'm sure you can see! There's no reason why you couldn't see... why that's your balance..." I don't even know how he called me; I figure blind people must really love Bluetooth. Deaf people, though, the tragedy of their life is they could never enjoy bubble wrap. And I hate when people say, "The proof is in the pudding... Don't eat that pudding... It's evidence." I hate when people say that. What's this replacing history with herstory? Feminism is ruining the Ingles language, that's bull. Who says, "You need to read the womanual"? Well, I guess if you need to learn how to be a bitch. Am I right? (I try to high-five a woman o.s. but miss) Looks like somebody's been reading her womanual! And my high-five is off target... I wonder if they have guys guarding the plastic silverware company... with giant sporks. You know? Like, what are they gonna do though if I show up with a giant, baked potato, you know? "Wassup, s?" "Halt!" "What? I got a giant baked potato. What are you gonna do, break your spork off on it? Your spear sporks?" "They're called spearks!" "Whatever! Take back your stupid 'box o' plastic nutcrackers'. Those s suck." Hmm... I wonder who the best rapist in the world is. See, I wonder weird like that, yeah, thank you. I'm-I'm glad I'm not alone. I wonder if pillows could talk, what would they sound like, you know? Would they just sound like they're just whispering, you know? Cuz they're so soft, I can't imagine my pillow yelling at me, you know? "Quit cummin in my face!" I don't like to give my pillows liquor anymore cuz they end up going around starting pillow fights. I can't keep those bastards under control. I was at the ss-- I saw a sign at the stoplight the other day, it said "FOUND GOLDFISH"... and I thought, If you put acne crme on prison walls, could it prevent future breakouts? Do you guys like stereotypical impressions in stand up routines? Yeah? Alright! This is an impression of an impression doing me: "Hey, Mike, what's... what's it like to be you? What's-what's that all about?" Thank you. How can someone learn what their learning disability is? I was at work on break the other day, I saw these guys talking by the water cooler. These 3 guys talking about vozkovs and such. But this fourth guy comes up behind the tall guy who's talking to them and starts tapping him on the shoulder, "Hey, Brian. Hey, Brian. Hey, Brian. Hey, Brian. Hey, Brian. Hey, Brian." The tall completely ignored him: "...and I think the 3rd quarter is looking real strong." "Hey, Brian. Hey, Brian. Hey, Brian. Hey, Brian. Hey, Brian. Hey, Brian" "Shut the up!" said the tall guy. And he walked away, ed. The fourth guy looked down at his feet as he dragged them and walked the other way. But there's 2 guys left, and the Guy #1 says, "Who was that guy talking to us?" The other guy thinks, he says, "I think his name was Marshall?" I'm Mike Tallon, you've been watching ABC News.

Author: xis10ce
Keywords: comedy mike tallon existence ddi dr doom inc stand up improv sketch parody spoof
Added: January 10, 2008

Forever and For Always Jonas Brothers Love Story ch2

*Introducing faithgirl62 as Jeannie* I turned around and saw the cutest curly haired boy I had ever seen. "Nickle!" I said. We had been best friends in 6th grade and our nicknames for each other were Zizzle and Nickle. Don't ask why. I walked over to him. He was blushing but he smiled, which made my heart beat about 500 times faster. "I thought maybe you forgot," he said. Wow, his voice was so much deeper! "I could never forget my Nickle! Is my Dime here too?" He grinned. "Dime" is what I called his brother Kevin. "Somewhere. So how's life been?" Now it was my turn to grin, or at least fake it. "Great!" No need to tell him about my mom. He looked concerned. Was it really that obvious that I was lying? "That's good..." he didn't even sound convincing. "Zoe!" Someone walked up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder. It was Taylor. She hated me so I was really confused when she was talking to me. "Hi..." "We were just talking about how you're really good at playing the piano and singing." I already did not like where this was going. I kept turning back to Nick to talk to him, but Taylor wouldn't leave. "There's a piano over there." She pointed across the room. "Play something!" That wasn't a request, it was an order. Taylor linked her arm through mine and dragged me across the floor. Leaning against the piano was one of my friends, Jeannie. "Hi Jeannie!" I tried to twist away from Taylor. "Hey! Oh, are you gonna play?" "Yes, she is." One good thing about Taylor is if you're too lazy to talk for yourself, she'll do it for you. Suddenly I got an idea. "Hey Nick!" I called. He walked over to us. "What?" "If I play Love Song, will you sing it with me?" "Only if you start." I smiled and glanced at Taylor. She was staring at Nick like he was a hunk of meat. I sat down at the piano and started playing. When I started singing, everyone stopped talking and someone turned off the music. It was just me singing and I was expecting to hear Nick's voice at any second, but he let me finish the song on my own. I played the last chord and immediately people started talking again, but now they were trying to find out who the chick playing piano was. I looked at Nick, his mouth was slightly open. "I thought you were singing with me," I said. He shook his head making his curls bounce. "I forgot." Taylor gave me a forced smile. "Wow, thanks Zoe." She turned away from me. "You're Nick right?" "Yeah. Zizzle, wanna go get some food?" He flashed me a smile. "Can Jeannie come?" "You don't have to ask my permission." So the three of us walked over to the food. I saw chocolate and went for it. All of a sudden, some random guy appeared out of no where. "I wouldn't eat that if I was you," he warned me, pointing at the chocolate. "Oh? And why?" I put my hand on my hip. "Because chocolate causes acne, my dermetologist told me." "Do you eat chocolate?" Not trying to be mean, but this kid DID NOT have nice skin. "No." "Okay. Ba-bye now." I stepped around him and got my chocolate. It was then that I looked around and realized I'd lost Nick and Jeannie. I almost called their names but then Jeannie tapped me on the shoulder. "Zoe, hurry up!" she said. "They're starting a game of seven minutes in heaven!" I swallowed my chocolate. "Who says I wanna play?" She smiled at me and gave me a little shove. "You know you want to. Who knows, you might get Nick." I blushed and told her to shut up. Then I grabbed a mint. "Okay, I'll play." We walked over and joined the circle. "Piano chick goes first!" someone yelled. Never again am I gonna play the piano at a party. "Fine." I reached in and spun the bottle, waiting my fate. It slowed down and landed in between Nick and the guy who had warned me against chocolate. Nick looked at the bottle. "Me." He stood up and took my hand. "Closet's upstairs," some girl yelled. We went up the stairs. It was totally deserted. The people at the party not in school were in the back yard. We talked a little bit, using up some of our seven minutes. Then Nick kissed me. I hadn't been expecting it at all. I was so out of it, I almost forgot to kiss him back. That's when someone opened the door. "Ooo! Nick!"

Author: ZoeAvlia
Keywords: brothers jonas love OneTrueMedia story
Added: September 21, 2008